I’m sure many non-Spanish speaking Latinos can relate to this scenerio.
You’re out walking in your neighborhood, in a store or in the subway and suddenly someone asks: habla espanol?
And then you say no and the person asking usually frowns with disappointment and disbelief. Because they see you as someone who looks like them.
I have judged most of my life for speaking Spanish. Because I look “Latina” and self-identify as Latina, I must speak Spanish. And if I don’t speak it – well, there must be something wrong with me. And not speaking Spanish makes me less Latino than the person who does.
I have struggled with cultural identity for years and I’ve always felt like I’ve never had a place. Dancing between two worlds in cultural limbo.
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Growing up in a diverse Latino neighborhood and not speaking Spanish, I’ve been called every name in the book: wannabe white girl, valley girl, gringa, estupida (by an exboyfriend’s mother).
I’ve been asked “How can you consider yourself a Latina blogger if you don’t speak Spanish?“
I’ve even been called an embarrassment to my culture.
It’s Hispanic Heritage Month and I thought I’d debunk some of the misconceptions about non Spanish speaking Latinos like me.
5 Misconceptions About Non-Spanish Speaking Latinos – DEBUNKED!
We cannot cook like our mothers (or fathers). One Christmas, I was talking to my coworker about making Christmas dinner. I told her I was making a pernil and arroz con gandules. “You know how to make that?” she asked. I know why she asked. People are always surprised that I can make a pretty impressive pot of arroz con ganudules simply because I do not speak Spanish. Not really sure why, recipes are written in English.
RELATED: Pernil & Arroz con Gandules – a Traditional Puerto Rican Holiday Meal
Our parents have failed us. When I tell people I don’t speak Spanish, they usually ask, “Why didn’t your mother (parents) teach you?” It is accusatory, judgmental. It puts me on the defense immediately. Because my mom is a great mother and she raised me to have respect for others, to be honest and hardworking. To have her questioned is hurtful.
We don’t want to learn to speak Spanish. I have yet to meet a non-Spanish speaking Latino who says, “I’m so glad I don’t speak Spanish.” In fact, not speaking Spanish is a significant regret. Learning a language at 3, 4 or 5 is a whole lot different from learning as an adult. As an adult who has tried to learn, it’s difficult. It takes time and practice – a lot of practice. And whom will we practice with?
And then there’s the flip side – when non-Spanish speaking Latinos try to speak Spanish, they’re ridiculed for their pronunciation and accent.
There’s a difference between being corrected and being made fun of. When someone is laughed at for attempting to speak Spanish, it can be discouraging and make the person feel self-conscious.
We cannot understand. Yeah, just because we may not speak Spanish doesn’t mean we don’t understand the language.
I grew up hearing Spanish. Both of my parents speak it, many of my friends speak it. I am pretty good at following a conversation even if I can’t be part of it. I pick up on words, phrases and body language. My parents always switched to Spanish when they wanted talk about me or something they didn’t want me to know about, so I’ve had years of practice of decoding conversation. And I’m usually aware if you start talking about me. Because trash talk is universal.
We are not proud. There is this assumption that if we do not speak Spanish, that we are not proud of our culture. I may not speak Spanish, but I’ve watched documentaries and own dozens of books about Puerto Rico. I’ve studied its history and read its literature. (I have many Spanish speaking friends who do not know the island history, the way I do.)
Related: Celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month as a Non-Spanish Speaking Latino
I am proud of being Latina. I am proud of my color, my hair and my hips. I am proud of my name with its Qs and Zs. I am proud of the place my parents were born. And I am proud of the language I long to speak but have never been taught.
You know me, I’m a white latina, so right off the bad no one thinks I’m Hispanic. But when I do say I am and they hear me speak it fluently they look at me as if their heads might explode. I was “too white” to be latina, or because I’m white I couldn’t possible know Spanish. And when they knew I spoke Spanish I had another wave of hate come at me because I am white and speak fluent Spanish so then I’d be put to the test asking me what certain words were, what type of foods I ate and if I’m so latina why are my parents white. It’s a whole pile of caca that’s way too big to clean up. I went through cultural identity too — I didn’t feel US american and I wasn’t chilena. The latinos where I grew up were all gangsta wannabe’s and I didn’t identify with that either. But I’ve never denied not for one minute who I am and my language. So I understand you — in a weird white latina kinda way 🙂 xoxoxo
Love your article, we can so relate to everything you have mentioned. Our parents wanted us to know english since we were both born and raised in the USA. We know the culture just not fluent in the Spanish language. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for this article. I find it so hard to relate to others like me. I’m of Dominican descent, my father and mother are light-skinned Dominicans born and raised and came to the US in their twenties and teens respectfully.
Not going to give my whole life story, but I was basically raised in white neighborhoods around white people while my cousins were raised around latino based communities. My parents tried to teach me spanish as a child, but I just didn’t want to speak it because my peers were all white. I tried to learn in high school and my parents speak spanish to each other at home, but I can only understand not speak. And yes, I have trouble understanding different dialects. I just wish other people would understand how I feel when they question why I don’t speak spanish or even question my latino background based on my looks and the languages I can or cannot speak. Like I’m some kind of freak. Like I’m fake and don’t belong in any community.
I have accomplished so much in my life. I have a career in the film, tv and live performance industry in NYC no less, I’ve dedicated my life to the arts but everyone seems to undermine my accomplishments when they question why I don’t speak Spanish. It hurts the must when it comes from extended family members because they mostly blame my mother for not teaching me. My parents were the best parents ever. They taught me to be the strong, smart and kind woman I am today.
I relate 100%… I’m half Peruvian and half white. My mom speaks fluent Spanish. Growing up, my parents decided to move to a different town 10 minutes away from where we were prior. Our new home was in a predominately white town, I definitely did not fit in in school. I felt like an outcast because I was one of the only Hispanics in my class. I did not grow up speaking Spanish, my mom always told me that I didn’t wanna learn when I was a kid, but to this day it honestly bothers me because I feel like a disgrace to my family and Hispanics anywhere. Whenever I am with my family, i can understand mostly what they are talking about. If I hear a few words, I jump to conclusion about what they must be talking about. I can understand more than speak. I get embarrassed if I try to even speak because I know I’ll mess up some words. I’ve been to Perú and Mexico… it’s tough to feel confident in places where you sort of feel like you belong even though you don’t speak the language. I’m 22, I wish I learned when I was a child. A baby. I wish I could pass down the language to generations. I’m trying to accept the fact that I am still worth something in this life despite the ability to speak bilingual. My grandma doesn’t speak english, and it kind of kills me how after all these years I still am not fluent. I barely talk to her, it sucks. I downloaded an app where I can learn when I have time.
Hey girl,
I really don’t think there are much ‘good’ people in this world. This judgement to fit into society, uncalled criticism, and mistreatment of others just because they lack a certain trait is uncalled for. I am a native English speaker and I would never mistreat anyone who does not speak fluent/perfect English nor exclude them from anything. Excluding and mistreating someone because they can’t speak ‘fluent’ Spanish or any language? Are you kidding me? Well if this continues on, I can say for sure that Spanish culture/language WILL become non-existent if this judgmental attitude continues, because honestly, who wants to be in a culture where superiority complex and ‘holier than art thou’ attitude where people are condemned for something irrelevant? I’m a supporter of languages and believe it should be encouraged but the way it’s done and the perspective of many is ridiculous. Guilt tripping someone, or rubbing into people’s faces as they are ‘less’. Dear lord, this needs to be stopped. Humanity and respect for everyone should be taught to children first and foremost, culture and everything is good to have too, but not shoved down their throats. I’d say let’s twist the minds of these cultural snobs/language chauvinists first because it’s a bad way to keep the culture alive !
Btw, I speak my parents’ language ok, but being demoralized by other people and not showing respect or understanding how I feel makes me not speak it at all. Especially with my accent. You judge and make insults, you get nothing out of it. End of story.
I have totally been there,grew up with Spanish speaking family but went to school with mostly “white kids” and lived in a mostly “white” neighborhood among military families.My whole life I have heard the same criticism from other Hispanics and have been put in the same box-I’ve lived in Missouri now for almost 15 years among other white people who are more accepting and yet the one of a few latino’s I work with won’t have anything to do with me because I cannot speak Spanish-go figure-but I am with you on everything you have said.I know who I am and I know my culture in fact my great grandfather was actually Irish but was adopted by a Mexican family and my grandmother was born in Colorado so there is a definite mixture even though you can’t see it.
God I’m in love with you! Yes at times it is a pain. But the thing is I understand what is being said clearly. I just can’t speak with a clarity. My studies in Spanish stopped at 7, my dad went away , never came back. The choice then was to live with my other relatives , the only choice and they don’t speak Spanish. Then there was the way people treated you if you spoke Spanish in a non Spanish speaking town of that era. Especially if you wanted to work a job. They said “Speak Spanish and you get paid in pesos!” It wasn’t until the mid 1980s that cooled down. I had to work even as a kid. No one was giving me anything. So I spoke English and became college level proficient in it. And it’s true English is keys to the Golden Door if you want to work and be successful. If you stick to just Spanish your often given the heel in life in this country. More over engineering diagrams are done in English also. And I went on to become a great engineer. My dad often was distant from me and eventually he died. He didn’t seem to want to spend any time with me and any time he did turned into regret. And I did try to speak Spanish with him and learn but there were very few people that would help me practice or know the English side as well as the Spanish language to be able to help me learn Spanish to a college level. Most of what is spoken in the United States is English and no one should scold you for it. I’m proud of my heritage any way you see it. But tell me I’m not Spanish because I don’t speak it or actually speak it well then su mas loco y derecho!
I enjoyed your article. I’m right there with you. I’m 3rd generation Mexican American and I don’t speak Spanish, nor do I have a strong desire to learn. Does that make me less Mexican American? No! If you have a problem with, then that’s your problem, not mine.
What really bothers me is I noticed that hispanic/Latinos who don’t speak Spanish seemed to always e singled out than almost any other group in the USA, probably Also Asian Americans who are not bilingual also. For example, I think its very hypocritical for someone who identifies as French American, Irish American, German American, African American, etc., to be critical of me when they hey admit that they don’t speak the language of their ethnic heritage. Its like you are calling me out when you can’t even speak the language of your ethnicity. Isn’t that a double standard? Its funny how that works.
love this!!
I’m 42 years old and am ‘white’. I speak fluent Spanish. I lived 3 years in Oaxaca Mexico, and have spent a LOT of time all over Mexico, especially in Monterrey, NL. I lived in Austin Texas for 8 years where I lived with and hung out with almost exclusively, with mexican nationals, cubanos, mexican americans, and people from all over latin America. I spent more time being a Mexican than any Mexican under the age of 25. (y si no me crees, pos ya estas.. preguntame cualquer cosa y luego cotorreamos) After all this time, I still haven’t been able to figure out why so many Mexican Americans (born here in the US) speak such terrible English as well as Spanish. I mean people like my buddy Noel. I love the guy but he can’t form a grammatically correct sentence in any language. I always had to help him talk to his dad in Spanish because he couldn’t get a complex idea out in Spanish. But Noel isn’t alone. a good 20% of my Mexican American friends speak terrible English and have never left the country.
I was wondering if anyone in the Latin American community could comment on this? I’m really not trying to be facetious. It’s never made any sense to me. My working theory is that there is social pressure to not ‘sound white’.
Wow. Do you actually expect some sort of reply? You simultaneously want a gold star because you think you’re an “honorary Mexican” or something, but at the same time you’re asserting how superior you are to actual Latinos. And you actually want other Latinos to agree with you. Ummm, what?
As for -and these are YOUR words, not mine- Mexican Americans speaking poor Spanish and poor English, what about the multitudes of white trash in this country whose ancestors put up roots here hundreds of years ago, but yet they still can’t even speak the only language they’ve ever even bothered to learn at all (English) fluently?
And the most ridiculous, inbred, low-IQ white specimens are always the same ones who spew their “white superiority”. You’re doing the same thing here, just disguising it a little (but not much) better.
I also think your “buddy Noel” doesn’t exist… nor do I believe that you’ve actually calculated the exact percentage of your “Mexican American friends” (20%!) who speak “terrible English”. This is because you would have to have at least five Mexican American friends for that asinine math to work, and I don’t believe you even have one.
Maybe these hypothetical people don’t really speak terrible English at all. Maybe they just don’t want to talk to YOU. My South American grandmother’s English always got much worse when she knew she was talking to an asshole. It was almost like magic.