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You are here: Home / Familia / My Mother, Our Kitchens & Puerto Rican Traditions

My Mother, Our Kitchens & Puerto Rican Traditions

December 14, 2016 by Lisa Leave a Comment

My mother used to call me into the kitchen while she cooked and commanded me to pay attention. After a few minutes I would get in her way: handing her the wrong items and asking too my questions. Frustrated, my mother would have me exiled to the living room.

After becoming a wife and mother, I realized my family required sustenance and I was forced to conquer the kitchen. My kitchen became a place of solace, a place to stand and clear my head while cooking for others.

Now my mother and I are titans, both vying for power in la cocina.

clash-of-las-cocinas-atypical-familia-by-lisa-quinones-fontanez

My mother wields the pilón; I pump the mini chopper.

My mother blends peppers red and green, cloves of garlic, bulbs of onions, recao, cilantro and olive oil to make a large batch of sofrito. It is the base of her every meal.

I cook with sofrito so rarely that when I need it, I buy the ingredients, chop everything up and sauté it into my meal.

The beginning of almost any great meal includes:

garlic-cilantro-green-peppers-and-onions-the-start-of-every-great-meal

I look forward to cooking holiday meals, creating my own traditions. While I cook my mother will lean over me, criticize my technique, “That’s not the way I do it.”

One by one my mother inspects my items, frowning at the prices.  “It’s not that you cook good, you just buy expensive ingredients,” she’ll say.

Related: Pernil & Arroz con Gandules: A Traditional Puerto Rican Christmas Meal

I shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joes; I buy organic.

My mother shops where she has coupons, scouring the neighborhood for the best prices.  She goes one place for milk, another for eggs, somewhere for meats and so on.  My mother will never pay full price for anything if she knows she can get it on sale.

My mother cooks her specialty dishes with ease, never having to consult a book, eyeballing ingredients. I rely on recipes and measurements.

My mother trusts her culinary instinct. Mine are still being cultivated.

I am the occasional cook, making elaborate meals for a holiday or celebration. My mother cooks every day, it’s a part of who she is. I realize this the day I invite my parents over for Christmas dinner. I was going to cook the signature Puerto Rican meal: pernil, arrroz con gandules, potato salad. My mother said she would bring pasteles.

The thought reminds me of childhood. Watching my mother at the kitchen table late on Saturday night. A large pot at the center, sheets of wax paper in front of her, a ball of white twine. Wrapping each pastel like a present; humming to her herself or the phone nestled between her shoulder and ear. It is an all day affair, an offering. And the culinary commitment secures my mother’s place as the master. I am still the apprentice.

I do not want anyone else’s recipe other than hers. And I know I will have to watch her and ask questions and hope she doesn’t throw me out of her kitchen.


Originally written & published in December 2010. 

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Filed Under: Christmas, Comida, Familia, Holidays, In the Kitchen, Latino Culture, The Personal Tagged With: Atypical Mami, Christmas, Motherhood

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Hi, I'm Lisa aka @laliquin on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest & Snapchat. I'm a 40-something mom raising a son with autism in The Bronx, NYC.

Atypical Familia is a personal blog & resource site for Typical Parents raising Extraordinary Kids. We focus on autism parenting, special needs travel, work/life balance, family entertainment and more. This is parenting from a unique perspective.

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I'm Lisa aka @laliquin on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest & Snapchat. Get to know more about me and my familia!

Atypical Familia focuses on autism parenting, special needs travel, work/life balance, family entertainment and more. If you'd like to work with us, send us an email: autismwonderland(@)gmail.com. 

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laliquin

🐢 🦥 Slow and steady... I don’t want to mis 🐢 🦥 Slow and steady... I don’t want to miss a thing.
I should be working... but it’s Sunday and I’m I should be working... but it’s Sunday and I’m easily distracted. P.S. Why didn’t y’all tell me about Married at First Sight sooner?! How is it that 9 seasons in, I’m just discovering it?
cre•ate : bring (something) into existence 🌻 cre•ate : bring (something) into existence 🌻 woke up grateful for another day and the life I’ve been able to create. Day by day, my life gets better because I get better. It’s been a slow process. First I had to figure out the life I wanted. Then I had to realize that I DESERVE the life I wanted.
Happy. Unhappy. Stronger. Weaker. Better. Worse. C Happy. Unhappy. Stronger. Weaker. Better. Worse. Change. Complain. Accept. Deny. Accomplish. Regret. Finish. Quit. 
I DECIDE. 👊🏽
🦋 🦋
🖤 🖤
It’s more than okay. Today I can be grateful not It’s more than okay. Today I can be grateful nothing in my life turned out the way I planned. My life is turning out to be exactly the way it’s supposed to be. My HPs plan is better than I could’ve ever dreamed of. 🌻
Just winging it. Life. Eyeliner. Everything. Just winging it. Life. Eyeliner. Everything.
Never ever 🖤🌀 Never ever 🖤🌀
4🔥5 . . . . . As per my young friends “This 4🔥5 
.
.
.
.
.
As per my young friends “This gotta go on the grid. This is not a story pic.” 🤣🤣🤣 Thank you for this collective effort 📷 @ashestogoodvibes @loutimes5 💛 #flyageless
euphoria: the feeling or state of intense exciteme euphoria: the feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness 🌻 I may struggle with depression and anxiety but I also have moments of pure and genuine happiness. That is where I am right now. One of the gifts I’ve received in sobriety is the ability to hold space for all of my emotions. I feel them, I acknowledge them and I let them pass. For me, it’s in the passing where the power is... I don’t stay in it. ✨ 45 is going to be amazing. ✨
Depression and anxiety can easily knock me down. B Depression and anxiety can easily knock me down. But I continue to get up. I do my hair, throw on some hoops, dab a little gloss and give myself a pep talk. Dear Me, I know you’re scared, but you can handle this. Keep going. Love, Me 🌻#selfcareseptember #radicalbodylove
No I’m sorry or explanation necessary. Just NO a No I’m sorry or explanation necessary. Just NO and keep it moving. ”No” is hard when you’re a people pleaser but boundaries are absolutely necessary. It’s something I’m learning to do to maintain my own peace of mind. Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect. And I respect myself way too much to allow anyone to disrespect me. 💥 periodt ✌🏼 #selfcareseptember #radicalbodylove
I try to start my mornings with a gratitude list. I try to start my mornings with a gratitude list. After meditating and writing my list, I opened my Beautiful You book. Describing myself in 25 words or less without using roles or physical features was not easy. It took a little time. But I did. Making healthy choices, setting boundaries is a daily practice. I am grateful I have the willingness to do so. I am grateful I can pause and breathe through my anxiety. I am grateful I have the courage to follow my dreams. Thank you @rosiemolinary - I am grateful for your words and online presence in my life. Hope we can be in the same room again soon. xoxo amiga 💛 #selfcareseptember #radicalbodylove
One of my favorite Frida quotes... I understand th One of my favorite Frida quotes... I understand the loneliness. More so during the quarantine. As painful as it has been, it’s allowed me to heal. The solitude forced me to figure myself out. I may not always be happy about my situation, but I am happy with myself. And I think it shows. 💛 #selfcareseptember #radicalbodylove
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