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You are here: Home / #AutismAwarenessMonth / Atypical is Our Normal

Atypical is Our Normal

July 17, 2015 by Lisa Leave a Comment

ATYPICAL: not typical; not conforming to the type; irregular; abnormal.

normal-lisa-quinones-fontanez

“He has autism?  I never would’ve noticed. He looks so normal.” That’s usually the response I hear when I tell people my son, Norrin, has autism. That’s one of the misconceptions about autism – as if it’s noticeable at first glance. As if “passing for normal” is a compliment.

When Norrin was diagnosed at two years and four months old, I was not surprised.  Norrin couldn’t speak, point, wave or clap. He didn’t look me in the eye and he rarely responded to his name.  I had prepared myself to hear the words: your child has autism.

But I was not prepared for everything else that comes with autism.

I wasn’t prepared to read a 20-page report filled with all the things my son couldn’t do. I wasn’t prepared to hear that Norrin had the cognitive level of a fourteen-month-old and the language level of a seven-month-old. I was not prepared for the therapists, the waiting lists, the follow-ups, the questions and the stares.

And I certainly was not prepared for Norrin to be thought of as not “normal.”

The days, weeks, months that followed I sat in meetings with special educational professionals and read book after book about autism.

The word that I kept hearing and reading was atypical. Like atypical was this bad thing. So I believed that it was. And “typical” became the goal.

Before I was a mom, I remember thinking about the kind of parent I would be and the kind of child I would raise. When I was pregnant, I imagined all the possibilities of the little life growing inside me. When I gave birth, I worried about breastfeeding and bottles and sleeping through the night.

Not once did I think about disability, therapy or special education. “Normal” was something I took for granted. After Norrin was diagnosed, I realized I had been dreaming the wrong dreams and worrying about all the wrong things.

It’s been seven years since Norrin’s diagnosis. He has come such a long way since his initial evaluation. He can speak, point, wave and clap. He engages in imaginative play. I celebrate every single milestone and accomplishment because I know how hard he’s worked to achieve the things that come so naturally for other kids.

Normal has been redefined for our family.

Normal is having a steady stream of therapists and suing the department of education for appropriate school placement.

Normal is having that appropriate school placement be more than 20 miles away.

Normal is special needs baseball.

Normal is making birthday goodie bags for 6 kids instead of 30+.

Normal is a 12-month-school year.

Normal is hours of talk about LEGO, video games and YouTube videos.

No doubt our life is different from many other families. But it’s the only kind of life we know. Raising a kid with autism is the only normal we know. And the line between atypical and typical is blurred.

As Norrin’s parents, we have learned to focus on all the “normal” things Norrin can do, rather than what he can’t. We have learned to ignore timetables and accept that Norrin will get things in his own time.

Like any other parent, all my husband and I want is for our son to be happy, confident and feel loved.

Norrin makes us laugh, he makes us proud and he inspires us every single day. While our dreams may have changed slightly, we have dreams nonetheless for Norrin and we know his future is full of possibilities.

Like most moms, I have pictures of Norrin plastered all over my desk at work – pictures, where he’s looking and smiling at the camera, with his dimpled cheeks and his eyes bright with excitement.  And family pictures at the zoo, at Disney World, at the beach; doing things that normal families do.

Anyone looking at our family photos will may know the number of shots taken to capture that one perfect picture. They may never notice the way I’m holding on, afraid to let go, because he may run away. They may know about the team of therapists we’ve had in and out of our home. Or about the hours of special education services that were required to get Norrin to respond to his name or look at the camera.

All they will know is that they are looking at pictures of a family who looks like any other. A happy, loving, “normal” family. And that is because we are.

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Filed Under: #AutismAwarenessMonth, Autism, Autism Parenting, Our Autism, Our Autism Journey, The Personal Tagged With: Atypical Familia, Atypical Mami, Autism, Autism Parenting, Special Needs Parenting

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Hi, I'm Lisa aka @laliquin on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest & Snapchat. I'm a 40-something mom raising a son with autism in The Bronx, NYC.

Atypical Familia is a personal blog & resource site for Typical Parents raising Extraordinary Kids. We focus on autism parenting, special needs travel, work/life balance, family entertainment and more. This is parenting from a unique perspective.

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I'm Lisa aka @laliquin on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest & Snapchat. Get to know more about me and my familia!

Atypical Familia focuses on autism parenting, special needs travel, work/life balance, family entertainment and more. If you'd like to work with us, send us an email: autismwonderland(@)gmail.com. 

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laliquin

🐢 🦥 Slow and steady... I don’t want to mis 🐢 🦥 Slow and steady... I don’t want to miss a thing.
I should be working... but it’s Sunday and I’m I should be working... but it’s Sunday and I’m easily distracted. P.S. Why didn’t y’all tell me about Married at First Sight sooner?! How is it that 9 seasons in, I’m just discovering it?
cre•ate : bring (something) into existence 🌻 cre•ate : bring (something) into existence 🌻 woke up grateful for another day and the life I’ve been able to create. Day by day, my life gets better because I get better. It’s been a slow process. First I had to figure out the life I wanted. Then I had to realize that I DESERVE the life I wanted.
Happy. Unhappy. Stronger. Weaker. Better. Worse. C Happy. Unhappy. Stronger. Weaker. Better. Worse. Change. Complain. Accept. Deny. Accomplish. Regret. Finish. Quit. 
I DECIDE. 👊🏽
🦋 🦋
🖤 🖤
It’s more than okay. Today I can be grateful not It’s more than okay. Today I can be grateful nothing in my life turned out the way I planned. My life is turning out to be exactly the way it’s supposed to be. My HPs plan is better than I could’ve ever dreamed of. 🌻
Just winging it. Life. Eyeliner. Everything. Just winging it. Life. Eyeliner. Everything.
Never ever 🖤🌀 Never ever 🖤🌀
4🔥5 . . . . . As per my young friends “This 4🔥5 
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As per my young friends “This gotta go on the grid. This is not a story pic.” 🤣🤣🤣 Thank you for this collective effort 📷 @ashestogoodvibes @loutimes5 💛 #flyageless
euphoria: the feeling or state of intense exciteme euphoria: the feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness 🌻 I may struggle with depression and anxiety but I also have moments of pure and genuine happiness. That is where I am right now. One of the gifts I’ve received in sobriety is the ability to hold space for all of my emotions. I feel them, I acknowledge them and I let them pass. For me, it’s in the passing where the power is... I don’t stay in it. ✨ 45 is going to be amazing. ✨
Depression and anxiety can easily knock me down. B Depression and anxiety can easily knock me down. But I continue to get up. I do my hair, throw on some hoops, dab a little gloss and give myself a pep talk. Dear Me, I know you’re scared, but you can handle this. Keep going. Love, Me 🌻#selfcareseptember #radicalbodylove
No I’m sorry or explanation necessary. Just NO a No I’m sorry or explanation necessary. Just NO and keep it moving. ”No” is hard when you’re a people pleaser but boundaries are absolutely necessary. It’s something I’m learning to do to maintain my own peace of mind. Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect. And I respect myself way too much to allow anyone to disrespect me. 💥 periodt ✌🏼 #selfcareseptember #radicalbodylove
I try to start my mornings with a gratitude list. I try to start my mornings with a gratitude list. After meditating and writing my list, I opened my Beautiful You book. Describing myself in 25 words or less without using roles or physical features was not easy. It took a little time. But I did. Making healthy choices, setting boundaries is a daily practice. I am grateful I have the willingness to do so. I am grateful I can pause and breathe through my anxiety. I am grateful I have the courage to follow my dreams. Thank you @rosiemolinary - I am grateful for your words and online presence in my life. Hope we can be in the same room again soon. xoxo amiga 💛 #selfcareseptember #radicalbodylove
One of my favorite Frida quotes... I understand th One of my favorite Frida quotes... I understand the loneliness. More so during the quarantine. As painful as it has been, it’s allowed me to heal. The solitude forced me to figure myself out. I may not always be happy about my situation, but I am happy with myself. And I think it shows. 💛 #selfcareseptember #radicalbodylove
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