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You are here: Home / Birthdays / The Thing About Birthdays When Your Kid Has Autism

The Thing About Birthdays When Your Kid Has Autism

January 15, 2016 by Lisa Leave a Comment

Birthdays over the years…The Thing About Birthdays When Your Kid Has Autism Atypical Familia Lisa Quinones Fontanez

I remember when Norrin turned one. I know a lot of parents throw a big party. But it didn’t make sense to me because – what one year knows it’s their birthday? So we went to my parents house and cut a cake.

We told ourselves: when Norrin turns five, we’ll throw a big party. Of course, that was before Norrin was diagnosed with autism.

I was concerned about Norrin before he turned two but was advised to wait. On his second birthday, we stayed home and cut a cake with friends. And the next day, when Norrin still wasn’t talking or clapping or pointing, I made a call to schedule our first evaluation with a developmental pediatrician.

RELATED: The Day Our Autism Journey Began

By the time Norrin turned three, he had an autism diagnosis and was in the full swing of early intervention services. And that was the year, we decided to throw a party. We invited friends, family and the neighbors to our small two-bedroom apartment. I ordered pizza and an elaborate Disney Cars cake. I made goody bags for the kids.

His 3rd birthday was the first time I realized how difficult socialization was for Norrin.

Watching the other kids playing together and seeing Norrin play by himself was tough. Every so often, he’d come out of the room to have some time away from the kids. After a few hours we sang Happy Birthday, helped Norrin blow out his candles and cut the cake. I decided that we weren’t throwing another party.

Since then we’ve celebrated Norrin’s birthday quietly. Going to his school with cupcakes, juice boxes and goody bags. And then we’ll do something special – just us.

His 6th birthday we went to the Monster Jam Truck Show. And on his 7th birthday, we spent the day in Connecticut – at an aquarium and a children’s museum – places he loves. Then we went for Chinese – Norrin’s favorite. And he was happy.

I think my husband and I would love to throw a big birthday bash. With balloons and music, surrounded by friends and family. But right now, that’s not what Norrin wants. That’s not what he cares about. Norrin’s happy with a few gifts and cake – even if it’s just the three of us singing Happy Birthday.

But when he turned 9, he asked for a birthday party “with all the friends.” Granted, his friends were the little girls from “Despicable Me.” It was the first year, he requested a party. It was progress. So for his 10th birthday, Norrin will finally have a birthday party.

RELATED: This is 9. And I am Scared.

How do you celebrate birthdays?

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Filed Under: Autism, Birthdays, Flashback Friday, Our Autism Journey Tagged With: Atypical Familia, Atypical Kid, Atypical Mami, Autism, Autism Parenting

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Hi, I'm Lisa aka @laliquin on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest & Snapchat. I'm a 40-something mom raising a son with autism in The Bronx, NYC.

Atypical Familia is a personal blog & resource site for Typical Parents raising Extraordinary Kids. We focus on autism parenting, special needs travel, work/life balance, family entertainment and more. This is parenting from a unique perspective.

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I'm Lisa aka @laliquin on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest & Snapchat. Get to know more about me and my familia!

Atypical Familia focuses on autism parenting, special needs travel, work/life balance, family entertainment and more. If you'd like to work with us, send us an email: autismwonderland(@)gmail.com. 

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It was a beautiful day for baseball. This kid hasn It was a beautiful day for baseball. This kid hasn’t been on the field in almost 2 years. But he got right back into it. It was amazing.  Forever grateful to @d3sportsandrec for creating a space for our kids. #autismawarenessmonth #d3sportsandrec #thebronxisbeautiful #thebronxdoesitbetter #bronxkids
I will always remember this photo taken at Orchard I will always remember this photo taken at Orchard Beach. Norrin was just diagnosed with autism and I was shattered. He was two and a half years old and there were so many milestones that he hadn’t met. I was full of resentment and fear and guilt. I had no idea what the future would look like. I couldn’t see any hope or progress. Norrin is 15 and I am just amazed by how far he has come. He has taught me so much about life. I still have fear. At 15, Norrin’s autism is no longer “cute.” There are things he struggles with and things I work to protect him from. But I have hope today. For that I am so grateful. Sometimes people will apologize when I say “my son has autism.” I assure them, there’s nothing to apologize for. Raising a kid with autism is not easy. There are moments when it still crushes me. But I would not change anything about our journey. It’s made us both who we are. 💙 I am so proud of Norrin. Of all the things I’ve ever done or will do, being his mama is by far the best. #autismawarenessandacceptance
Sometimes self care looks like making yourself a g Sometimes self care looks like making yourself a good dinner. I’m learning to enjoy cooking for one. I don’t need to rely on sandwiches, snacks or Grubhub. I made salmon in the air fryer and it was amazing! I used lemon pepper, garlic parsley, sea salt and olive oil. Super easy and done in 10 minutes. While the airfare was going, I sautéed cauliflower rice using the same seasoning (and butter instead on evolution). Also I don’t know what took me so long to get on the cauliflower rice bandwagon. I am officially sold on it. 
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