An Open Letter To My Jeans That No Longer Fit

Dear Designer Jeans,

I will never forget the first time we met. I slipped into you with nervous excitement. You were my first. My very first pair of designer jeans. You gave me a brand new sense of confidence. No matter what kind of day I was having or how I was feeling, when we were together – I always felt fabulous.

But that was ten years ago. When I was a size 4 – 6.

Over the last 10 years, I’ve see-sawed between sizes 8 – 14 and I haven’t owned another pair of designer jeans since. I’ve been waiting to return to you. My first.

I put you away in a safe place. The sight of you too painful to bear. But every season when I’m reorganizing my closet, I am reminded of our time together. Sometimes I even tease myself by attempting to slip into again. But I can’t pull you on passed my knees. I rip you off and throw you across the room. You used to make me feel so good. Now you just make me feel fat. But instead of kicking you to the curb, I pick you back up, fold you and return you to the bin at the back of my closet. Out of sight once again.

We have played this game for too many years. And I am done. It makes no sense to hold on to you because I don’t need you. You are just a pair of jeans. And you don’t define me. I have changed. I know there’s another pair of designer jeans for me.

Even if I did fit back into you again – would I want to wear you? When? Where? At the playground where I’d be pulling them up or pulling down my shirt fearing my underwear would show? Or out to dinner with my family, sitting next to my son who still likes to use my legs as a napkin? Would I even want to take you to the dry cleaners to be pressed? Because I do not have the time to iron a perfect crease.

And if I’m going to be completely honest – your rinse is too light and your rise too low. I’m a dark denim woman now and I prefer a higher waist. Looks like – you’re not a good enough fit  for me.

It’s time to let you go and to move on. I wish you well. And I hope whoever finds you will love you as much as I once did.

Love, Lisa 

Obviously it’s silly writing a letter to my jeans because c’mon – they’re jeans. But as I was cleaning out my closet, I was amazed by how much stuff I was holding on too. I filled 4 garbage bags with clothes that I no longer fit into. And many were things that even if I did fit into them again, I really have no use to wear them. I’m not the same person I was 10 -12 years ago, why would I want to wear the same clothes.

My sentimental attachments to these things were also just feeding my negative body image. They are reminders of how much weight I’ve gained.

I don’t want a closet full of clothes that make me feel bad. I can’t hold on to things, hoping that one day…maybe they’ll fit.

I want clothes that I can wear now. Clothes that make me feel good.

I can still work towards being more fit and losing weight for health reasons. But I have to accept the body I have now. It doesn’t matter if my jeans cost $300 or $15 – I just want to love myself in them. I am ready to “let go” and just “see my face…without judgment.”

Is there an item in your closet taunting you? It’s time to let go and #LOVEURSELF!

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*Want to write something but you don’t have a blog? NO PROBLEM… if you want to write but don’t have a platform, my friend, Lady Dee LG accepting guest posts for the movement on my blog! All you have to do is contact Lady Dee LG for more details.